Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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