I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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