its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
