Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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