I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
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Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
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YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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