weddingsv make me drug and hornr
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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