Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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