Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
it's like heaven, but drunker
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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