I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
