Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
