Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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