We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
A+ Viking dick
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
