you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
