i was rollin on her like bob the builder
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
