ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
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