Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
