Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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