I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
