"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize