you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize