I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
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Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
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Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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