Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
