The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
