so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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