I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize