we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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