We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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