I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
