I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
she looked like the before picture.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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