Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
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