whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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