So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
