Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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