I got chris browned last night
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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