She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
