evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
