also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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