I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Randomize
