I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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