SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
