i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
