So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
