OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
