This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
