Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
