if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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