I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
