Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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