Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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