I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
