You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
