Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
