Can Purell be used as lube?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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