Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
