Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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