Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
