just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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