I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
this boner is exhausting
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
