I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Randomize
